Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Most Evil Thing

Yes, it's true.  I'm afraid of sp*ders.  I don't even like to type the word.

Today is supposed to be a good study day, preparing for the final Final, the end of the term, the last hoo-rah.  It's 76 degrees outside and one of my friends invited me to lunch earlier.  But I said no.  I'm trying to be good, and study.  I mean, I would hate to fail the very LAST term of nursing school!  So I study.

Then I get up to do something (I'm sure it was important, whatever it was), and I see this black shadow on my ceiling.  Frick.  It's one of Them.  I recognized it.  It was on my screen door earlier this morning, and I knocked it off to let it know that it was not welcome.  This is a dangerous place for Them, and They should recognize and respect that.  And now it was on my ceiling.

Sure, it looks small on the photo, but take my word that it was not.  And it was one of those ultra-black, furry types that jump and move really fast.

I grabbed the duster, as it has the longest handle.  I couldn't do anything about the soft, fuzzy dust collector at the end of the handle, I had to concentrate on killing the Evil Thing.  I took some short, quick breaths and jabbed before it jumped on me and killed me first.  It disappeared amongst the fuzzy duster!!  I released the pressure, and watched it fall!!... right into my basket of clean laundry.

Well.  It was officially time to get the Ultimate Evil Thing Eraser, aka the vacuum.  I got it out and thought, this is a good time to try out that new carpet freshener that I just bought, and thus sprinkled it on about half of the dark blue carpet.  The directions said to give it a few minutes, but I had an ET to kill so I started vacuuming after only a minute or so.  I guess I should have checked for carpet compatibility, because it left subtle spots of lighter blue carpet behind.

After vacuuming intensely, I dumped out my clean clothes (darks, of course), and stared.  Nothing moved.  I wanted to pick something up, but was sure that the ET would be on the other side of the cloth, waiting to jump on me.  I flicked a corner of my dark blue sweatshirt.  Nothing.  I grabbed it and tossed it away from me.  AHA!  There it was!  The vacuum was running, hose and lengthener attached.  The damn Evil Thing moved quickly (!), but the force of the suction was too much!  I felt it go up the tube and shuddered.  I then vacuumed up a bunch of cat litter to pepper it to death in the bag.

My hands are still shaking, I have an extra load of laundry to do, and my carpet is spotty.  Those Things... are truly Evil.

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